How to Deal with People Who Hate You: A Comprehensive Guide on How to Cope with Toxic Working Surrounding
23 July, 2018 in Career Advice

If you think of yourself as a likeable and amicable person, you will definitely wonder how to deal with people who hate you if you end up in some unpleasant situations. Even if you are easy to get along with or cooperate with (when it comes to the workplace) and you are not a conflict person, you may still encounter people who do not like you or who may even feel hatred towards you. 

When you tend to wonder, “Why people hate me?”, start to realize that it is not only because you have done something wrong to them, have offended them, etc. Often, it happens because of their inner own mental processes and dissatisfaction with life. Therefore, do not take it into your own account when some person starts to roll his or her eyes when you start to speak about something. 

In personal sphere, it is easy to get rid of people who hate or do not like us. In any case, we can simply walk away from them. On the contrary, when it comes to professional aspect, it is harder to cope with such people in the workplace and the burning question of most workers is how to deal with people who hate you at work. When it comes to the workplace, it is not that easy to walk away as a job is a quite important aspect of people’s life that they strongly value and that brings them money and self-realization. As such, toxic environment filled with hatred at work can pose many problems and cause negativity. 

When facing hatred from others, people usually strive to understand what the matter is and how to develop friendly relationship with that person. As a matter of fact, this strategy does not worth your energy and efforts. Why are you trying so hard in order to be liked by everyone? Why would you like to win attention of that particular person? What is the motif behind your attempt to become friends? 

It is a manifestation of the human nature to be liked by everyone, but actually you cannot. Just face it: you will meet people in life who like you and who do not. When it comes to office work, there is hardly any office in the world where all workers are friendly, amicable and like each other. It is unpleasant when someone hates you but it is inescapable. So, do not believe in the utopian office but rather learn how to deal with people who hate you and learn to master your emotions in order not to waste energy on negativity and hostile reactions. All in all, realize that your feeling of “others’ hatred towards you” exists only in your head. Make sure you are not misreading the body language of other people.

Does Someone Hate You?

Read the following widespread premonitions that makes you think that in your surrounding there is someone who hates you:

You feel it in your guts when people dislike you

The feeling of hatred from others may equally be true or exist merely in your head. If a specific person treats you differently from your colleagues, then evidently you are not his/ her favorite person. All in all, apart from trusting your guts, keep looking for other signs that may seem more persuasive. 

Someone who hates you rarely or never smiles at you

Not smiling is okay when a person has a bad day or temper tantrums. However, when you see that you are the only person in a team or a company who is not smiled at, then there are clear reasons to start worrying. 

They stare at you with hostility

As a rule, when you feel anger or aggression coming from a person when he/ she is staring at you, it may be a sign that you are not liked. If you feel uncomfortable, just avoid contacting with such people. 

They ignore you

It becomes even harder dealing with people who hate you, especially if they do not acknowledge your presence. It is a sign of dislike when some people do not reply to your “good mornings” and “goodbyes” for example.

They engage in rumor spreading

Usually, people who do not like you spread rumors about you. Even though it is childish behavior, it is rather widespread.

They are abrupt with you

If conversation with some people is always short and abrupt, it is definitely a sign that they are not fans of you. 

They express negative body language signs

If you notice closed positions (with arms folded), eye rolls, and the lack of attention, be sure that such people are not filled with positive emotions towards you.

They form cliques that are characteristic of high school behavior

If you feel you are in the scene of Mean Girls movie, then you are most probably not liked by your colleagues. In cases like these, you may not be invited to some parties, gatherings, etc. 

You are excluded from discussions and rumors

One of the characteristic features of a friendly workplace environment is relaxed atmosphere and joking. If you are not included in joking around and having fun, then you are not comfortable for those people to be with. 

Your coworkers tattle on you

If you find yourself a victim being thrown under the bus, then you are definitely not liked by your colleagues. Are you always blamed for something that goes wrong? Think over your relationship with them then. 

They are trying to get rid of you

If your colleagues are trying to seem nice offering you “better” positions in other companies or trying to get rid of you or avoid you during social gatherings, then you definitely have the right and proof to claim that “my coworkers hate me.”

How To Get Along With Coworkers Who Dislike You?

After you have got familiar with the manifestations of hatred, you can now learn how to get along with coworkers who dislike you.

Take a step back

When you find out that some of your colleagues in the company do not like you, the very first thing you would be eager to do is to find out why. As a rule, people are always obsessed with wanting to know why others do not like them, what they have done wrong, etc. However, the best thing to do in order to save your mental health is to take a step back, relax, and stop reacting to them. Just breathe in deeply instead of jumping into a burning debate or argument. 

Just accept this fact

It would be perfect if you were liked by everyone but as you might already know, it is far from reality. If you recall such people as Mother Teresa, even she suffered from negative attitude from others. 

The best way out here is to appeal to your ratio and sanity and accept the fact that there will always be people who do not like you. Besides, there is no need to strive hard to establish friendly relationships with them and make them love you. When it comes to this lack of sympathy in the workplace, keep in mind that providing quality work or service is your priority task. Do not spend your time and energy on getting to understand why someone does not like you. 

Decide what you will do with that

Think over the situation and decide whether this toxic environment and relationship with your colleague requires some further actions. Think carefully and decide whether it is better to leave the case or talk over it. 

Sometimes, if you notice just some occasional eye rolls or the lack of interest in having a conversation with you, it would be better to walk away from conflict and simply not pay attention to those smirks. In such minor incidents, starting a conversation and provoking conflict would be a worse-case scenario rather than simply ignoring the importance of such “relationship” for you. 

Nonetheless, if the dislike or hatred from your colleague is directly influencing your ability to perform well at work, then it is better to take some action in order to clarify everything. This is especially topical if you are working collaboratively in the same team. So, take the chance when there are two of you and initiate a conversation that will clear the air. 

Be bigger than that

Do not let your emotions affect your position and reputation in the company. Whatever the case, maintain your professionalism even if you are craving for letting out your aggression. Realize that you cannot control emotions and feelings of other people, but it is always your choice how you react to them. Treat other people with integrity, understanding, and respect instead of aggression and anger. 

If you have to cooperate with people who are not easy to deal with, use the tips presented in the article. Do not try to change things that are inevitable – just work on your reaction and emotions. 


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